My Feelings
by DarkYukina Chii55
Summary: Sequel to Delayed Feelings. After Gokudera founds out about Tsuna's death, he decided to go to Italy to visit his grave, but one thing he didn't expect, a last letter from Tsuna. Gokudera's POV. 8059 at the ending. Rated T just to be safe.


Title: My Feelings

Summary: Sequel to Delayed Feelings. After Gokudera founds out about Tsuna's death, he decided to go to Italy to visit his grave, but one thing he didn't expect, a last letter from Tsuna. Gokudera's POV.

Author's Note: After reading some reviews about the story that I just posted a few hours ago, I decided to make this. Hope you don't mind that much. Anyway, just enjoy this one. Sorry for some grammatical mistakes. Microsoft helped me on checking my grammar. And beware of 8059 ending 8D

Disclaimers: I do NOT own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! And it's characters as well ^^

"Normal speech"

[[Dreams]]

'Letter'

POV starts!

~._.~

Why? Why did he leave me just like that!? I waited for two years! Two years for him to come back to my side! This is bullshit. I can't believe this. I guess it's better if I go to Italy and ask his relatives. Wait, Yamamoto did say that he's Tsuna's cousin so maybe I should just ask him to go with me to Italy. I guess I'll buy his tickets just this one right?

"Yakyu-Baka," I called Yamamoto's nickname that I gave him. I thought at least he would feel a little bothered when I call him that but he seems to love it so much. There must be something wrong with his head.

"Ah, Gokudera! What brings you here? Good timing!" Yamamoto greeted to me with a smile on his face. Tch, it's bothering me a lot, sometimes.

"I'm heading to Italy tomorrow, to visit Tsuna's grave. Wanna come with me?" Yamamoto invited. I looked at him. Did I just hear it right? He's going to Italy to visit Tsuna's grave tomorrow? No one would ever want to decline the offer unless if that person is stupid.

"Guess I'll tag along, since this is about Tsuna," I told him my answer. Yamamoto nodded and his smile disappeared from his face.

"I'll head home to pack my stuffs," I said and walked away.

"Gokudera, don't forget to come to the airport at 8:30 am!" Yamamoto said from my back. I just nodded. I pack up my things. Since I came from Italy, guess I better just stay at the castle right? The Vongola Castle, I mean. It's like hell there but if that's the only way I could visit Tsuna's grave every day, then I will do so. I'll do it, for the sake the boy that I love in this world.

AT THE AIRPORT

TIME: 9:10 (Boarding Time)

"Gokudera, what did you just tell me?" Yamamoto asked to me with a shocked face. I sighed and looked at his face.

"I'm going to stay at Italy after this. I'm going to quit my job and live at the Vongola Castle," I said with a relaxing tone. Somehow, I didn't feel any regrets telling him about my decision.

"Oh, I see. Then, if you're staying there, then I'll stay as well since I'm Tsuna's cousin after all right?" Yamamoto said with a grin on his face. I just sighed. Guess I'll let him stay with me. My parents are dead after all, right? I just hope that Bianchi wouldn't mind letting him stay. Well, probably she already married Reborn, her boyfriend. Well he is handsome, to tell you the truth. No wonder my sister fell in love with him even though I don't know who this Reborn is anyway.

"This is what we call love at first sight, Hayato," She told me. I still can't believe someone like her saying those words to me. I guess she should feel lucky right since her boyfriend isn't dead yet. Not like….

"Gokudera? Gokudera?" I heard Yamamoto called my name.

"What?" I asked. "About what I said just now, actually I don't have a place to live there so can I go to your house instead?" Yamamoto asked. I just nodded at him, too tired with all of these stuffs happening around me.

Yamamoto just smiled and watched a movie. I decided to take a nap. I'm tired of this. I'M TIRED OF THESE STUFFS!

[["Gokudera-kun? Gokudera-kun? Hayato?" Who the hell is calling my name right now? Just let me sleep already. I'm tired of these… Wait. I think I know whose voice is that. Could it be him?  
"Hayato, it's me, Tsuna," the voice replied.

"Tsuna?!" I woke up immediately. I must be dreaming right?

"It is a dream, Hayato but I wanted to tell you something before I'll never return to your dreams or anyone… Forever," Tsuna explained. I tried to hug him but he pushes me away (Author's Note: Can ghosts really do that? XD)

"What do you want to tell me?" I asked. Tsuna gave me a smile.

"Hayato, remember the drawing that I give to you? Have you read the letter?" Tsuna asked to me. I nodded. Tsuna gave me another innocent smile.

"There is one more letter I want to give to you but I can't. By the time I finished writing the last letter, my heartbeats went slower and slower. After that, I passed away," Tsuna explained with a tear on his eye. (Author's Note: Now I wonder, can ghosts cry. XD)

"Anyway, forget about that. The letter is at the hospital where I went. Just asked them this question, 'Sawada Tsunayoshi's last letter that he tried to delivered', He said. I looked him with disbelief in my eyes.

"Time is running short; I must go now, Hayato. I'll never come back after this. This is our last fateful meeting. I enjoyed being with you Hayato, I really did. I hope you find someone better than me," Tsuna said while trying to hold his tears back.

"And remember, I'll never, ever forget you even if I'm dead. I hope you will always think about me as well. Sayonara, Hayato-kun…" After Tsuna said those words, he disappeared in thin air. I cried.]]

"Gokudera? Wake up!" I heard a voice calling out my name. I opened my eyes.  
"Gokudera, are you crying?" Yamamoto asked me. I just shook my head, telling him I didn't cry. Yamamoto nodded and continued watching a new movie, I assume. I still wonder about the dream. Tsuna's last and final letter that he written before he died? What did he mean about that?

LOCATION: ITALY.  
TIME: 4:30 pm.

We both went to my castle. As I suspected, Bianchi did married Reborn. She even left a letter for me.

'To Hayato:

If you return to this castle again, I'm not there anymore. I left Italy with Reborn. We're currently at United Kingdom. I hope you find the person that you love and treasure the most.

Love, Bianchi.'

Tch, love Bianchi? What kind of bullshit is that? Anyway, she left already? I thought she would be at Italy even though she's married to Reborn. Who's Reborn anyway? (Author's Note: Gokudera doesn't know whose Reborn in this story) Whatever, it's none of my business. As long as she's happy, then that's fine by me.

"Gokudera?" I heard Yamamoto called my name. I turned and stared at him. He's wearing that sad expression, again. Even though he's trying to hide it, but I know that he's still sad about Tsuna's DEATH.

"Tch, will you stop being so sad like that? Tsuna's dead and we can't do anything about it," I said. Wait. Did I really say those words to Yamamoto? To Tsuna's cousin?! He's going to be really mad, that's for sure. Heh, who wouldn't be mad?

He's wearing that expression again. The expressions he always wears when something like this happen. His face looked shocked plus with sadness. I know he's still sad about it but it happened and both of us can't do anything about it. I pity him sometimes. Tsuna is the only one who treats him like a big brother even though they're cousins. But I always grew jealous when I saw them both so friendly together. It looks like they're more like having a relationship together. I envy them when that happens. I feel like killing Yamamoto right at the spot but I don't want Tsuna to be sad and most of all, HATE me. I don't want that to happen anymore. NO. I'm tired of it.

"Gokudera? You're spacing out, again," I heard Yamamoto whined. Wait. Did he just whine? Well that's new. It never happens as long as I know him.

"Err, look. Just go to your room and take some rest. We'll be heading to the hospital tomorrow. Not today," I explained. I'm still tired from the flight and about this. I saw Yamamoto nodded and walked towards his room. I let him use my room while I sleep at my sister's room. Sounds weird right? But there's no other choice. I don't want to sleep in my parent's room. I'll never sleep in there, never.

5 HOURS LATER

Time sure flies. I better get some sleep now. It's almost midnight. I hope everything is going to be all right.

Wait for me, Tsuna. I'll fulfil your last wish. I closed my eyes but I didn't realise that I was crying in my sleep.

THE NEXT DAY

TIME: 11:30 am.

LOCATION: HOSPITAL

So here's the place where Tsuna undergo his surgery, eh? It looks nice even though it's full with patients from all over the world. As expected from the Cavallone family. Speaking of them, I guess I should visit 'him'.

I went to the information counter.

"Where is Dino Cavallone's office?" I asked. Yamamoto followed me and was giving me a clueless expression, means that he doesn't know who this 'Dino Cavallone' person is. I just gave him a small smile.

"At the third floor, room 12," She answered. Now I know who that woman is. It's Chrome Dokuro, Mukuro's cousin based on what Mukuro told me. What I always wanted to laugh is that both of them have the same hairstyle.

"Thank you, Chrome," I thanked her and walked away. She gave me a shocked expression and called my name.

"Ha-Hayato-san! If you're searching for the letter Tsunayoshi-san wanted to give to you, then go search for Dino-san and Romario-san at their room," Chrome repeated the same words at me. I looked at her and nodded towards her. Yamamoto just followed me without saying even a word.

"Well, well, well~. Who do we have here?" I heard a voice called the both of us. I know him.

"Byakuran, what do you want?" I asked giving him a death glare. How dare him! I don't want to think about it or else I'll end up having a headache. Yamamoto just waved at him and we proceed to go to Dino's office. I heard Byakuran sighed but I just ignored him.

IN FRONT OF DINO'S OFFICE

I pushed the door only to see Dino sleeping at the couch. I sighed and walked towards him. I yelled.

"DINO! WAKE UP OR ELSE, I'LL GIVE YOU MORE PAPERWORK!"  
That woke him up. He looked around and wailed, "Okay, Romario! I'll do my work now! Wait, Hayato?" Dino said. I tried to not laugh at him.

"I'm here to claim the letter," I told him my request. Dino gave me a nod and walked towards his table. He pulled out a letter from his drawer.

"Here's the letter that Tsuna intended to give it to you but…" He stopped. I know why he stopped his speech at there. It's painful to say that one word. I nodded as a sign that I know what he's trying to tell me.

"You may go now, if you want to," Dino told me. I turned around and walked away with Yamamoto behind me. He just looked at me with an invisible question mark on his head. I gave him the 'I'll explain it you later' look. That did the work. He gave me a nod and continued walking. I'm getting anxious when I think about the letter. Nothing's bad is in the letter right? Like, if it's cursed? Wait. What the hell is wrong with me?! Never mind. I only want to go back to the castle and read the letter by myself.

AT VONGOLA CASTLE

I went straight to my room to read the letter. That one letter he left for me. Surprisingly, he didn't give anyone else a letter besides me. I mean his last letter before he died. Even Yamamoto didn't receive one. Hey, at least he got a letter that Tsuna mailed to him right?  
I shook my head. Get over yourself, Hayato! Read this letter or else you won't know the truth behind all of this!

I tear up the envelope containing the letter. It was well written. Never expected that because after finished writing the letter, he became really ill and passed away, leaving all of us here, at this world.

God, if you really exist, please hear my prayer. If this is destined to be, then so be it. But please, don't do this to anyone else that is precious to me, including Yamamoto as well. God, you who I never believed in, please grant my wish.

I didn't realise that I was crying when I said all of those things nor I realised that Yamamoto was standing at the door.

"Hayato…" He called my name. Why that voice? I hate it.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I think it's better if you read the letter now or else, you won't know anything before Tsuna died," Yamamoto said and walked towards his room. Actually, it's my room to be precise.

I read the letter without wasting any more time.

'To the one I loved, Hayato;

How are you now? I hope you live peacefully with Yamamoto and the others. Tell them that I said 'hi' to them, please? Thank you for helping me.

Without wasting any more time and ink, I'll tell you my situation now. The truth is I only have one more month to live in this world where we were born and lived. Before I die, I wanted to confess my feelings to you in this letter. I did say that I was so happy when you confessed to me right? Well now, I'll say these words. Hayato, you're the most important person in my life besides my parents. I wanted you to know that I love you so much I can't afford of losing you. It's okay if you think I'm crazy for saying this but I'm not lying. I love you as much as you love me Hayato. I will always love you no matter where I am.

I'm done confessing my feelings towards you. Urgh, I'm feeling sick. Time is running out. I don't have much time left. I'll go straight to the point.

Hayato, please don't forget about me because I will always remember you and also, please don't stop loving me like now. Even though you'll get married one day, but please, I'm begging you. Don't forget about me. When I think about you forgetting me, my chest hurts. It hurts so much I feel like it's going to tear apart. Actually, I've been watching you and Yamamoto for a while. Why don't you both get married?

I'm at my limit now. I wish you the best in your life. I hope you'll achieve your dreams just like you said at high school. Goodbye, Hayato. I hope we'll meet again as different person but with the same heart.

Love,

Tsunayoshi Sawada.'

I became speechless after reading the letter. Marrying Yamamoto? I think I'll reconsider that. I heard someone knocked the door. Yamamoto entered before I could say no or yes. Yamamoto, you fool. I gave him a smile. Only this time was a sincere smile.

"How was it?" Yamamoto asked. I handed him the letter. He read it and gave it back to me after he finished reading it.

"So that's it huh?" Yamamoto asked. I nodded.

"You know, I keep thinking about the part about we both marrying each other. What do you think?" Yamamoto asked again with a grin on his face. I punched his shoulder lightly and nodded, signalling that I agree marrying him.

Tsuna, I'll marry him. I'll treasure him and love him as much I love you, Tsuna.

-5 YEARS LATER—

Five years have passed since Yamamoto and I got my married. I think I should start calling him Takeshi, right?

We both live in the Vongola Castle. We shared the same room and bed and do those 'things'. I don't know if you get it or not but let's just forget about it.

One thing that I didn't expect to happen really happened. A young girl that has the same look like Tsuna came to our house. He saw me and walked towards me.

"Excuse me, but are you Gokudera Hayato? I'll introduce myself. I'm Tsunahime Sawada, nice to meet you," the girl said. I looked at her and smile.

'We'll definitely meet again one day, Tsunayoshi-kun.'

-The End—

Author's Note: Finally done writing this! Sorry for all the grammar mistakes and if I rushed it. Anyway, do review please? Thanks.

Have a nice day, my wonderful readers!


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